Once Upon A Time

are you one of me?

Written at 7:40 PM on Saturday, October 6, 2007 0 comment(s)

sometimes,in life,one has to stand up and take responsibility for their mistakes and mistakes of others..sometimes,being the older one in the family might have it's pros and cons....many people often asked me,why is it that my msn nick i would put it as,"it's hard being me"....well,it could be that i might just whine about my life a little more often then what others would whine about but i feel it really is hard being me...i know every family has it's own problems but maybe it's because i might not be as perfect as what the outsiders think i am....i hate it when i say "haiz..i'm so poor d" and people would go like "yea right!look at your dad's job...if your poor,what am i?" i know that your family might have your own problem and from the outside you might look like your poorer than me...but in fact,you are richer than me...not only in the money sense way but also in so many other ways....sometimes,i really do envy those girls whose family are better off then mine....but i know that they have their own problems as well...all family have problems and i feel that even though my family may be imperfect but they are still my family and i love them ever so much...i never dare to ask for anything extra in my life though if i was to list out a list of things i want,it would be very long...when you see people wearing Adidas or Nike sneakers or really nice sneakers,you know how much you would want a pair of those but i never did dare to ask for one because i know how much it would cost and i didn't think i needed one so fancy..i just wanted one that was wear-able....i have a target of money that i would spend for a month and i would not exceed that target...if i did,the following month,i would have to cut down on my spending.....in fact,i am just like every other normal teenagers,i have my wants and needs and i have every other dream like every other teenagers but sometimes,maybe sometimes,i wish everyone would just give me a break and stop thinking that though my family do look perfect,don't...please just don't judge me...it hurts when people say things like "you're much better off then me...and don't think that you could understand how i felt.." when i say i understand,i truly do...sometimes,i think it's not fair that i've gone through so much more then what my friends have gone through..i have lots of friends who are still naive and they still don't know how brutal the world can be..but maybe someday...someday when the world come crashing down on them,you'll finally learn to understand..how hard it is being me....and i hate it so much when people tend to turn to suicide when things don't go their way...if i killed myself everytime something goes wrong,i'll be dead a long long time ago....to me,people who suicide are just trying to ask for attention.....i do feel sad but i don't commit suicide..i've found my way out..what about you?

xoxo,

Su-Quinn