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She was Once
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what is love without trust?
Written at 5:27 AM on Friday, October 31, 2008 0 comment(s)

Love Without Trust
by Yolanda Rhoades
It seems no matter where you are in a relationship

it's always lacking trust,

and like a key opens a door,

trust is what opens a heart.

Without trust you begin to worry day and night

somehow gaining insecurities within yourself

that makes you question the love you two share.

You start to feel unworthy,

you have so much to say,

will there ever be trust or just that constant pain,

because of those feelings there's an emptiness in your heart.

you feel it's easiest to just move on,

but you wonder if you'll ever find a love so strong,

so just take his hand,

put your trust in him,

because love without trust isn't love at all.....



10 hours to go
Written at 9:57 PM on Wednesday, October 29, 2008 0 comment(s)

i still have a few more hours left before i sit for my first final paper...i feel totally unprepared...i don't know what else to do?i'm F-ing sleepy and i haven't finish memorising so many cases and statutes....i seriously don't hope to fail.....i want to forget all about it....



love is complicated...
Written at 2:52 PM on Tuesday, October 28, 2008 0 comment(s)

no matter how simple one wants love to be, it somehow always turns out complicated...i've tried and i've tried....i've tried keeping things as simple as it could be but somehow,problems always arise...is it because relationship consist of two people thus it needs constant communication?
what about the saying "silence is golden"?

somehow,trust is really really important in relationship...without trust,how could the relationship still go on?even though you do tell me when you hang out with girls and things you do with girls,i still chose to trust you at the end of the day because i want this to work and i wanna know that i'll be able to trust you even when i give u the freedom to do more then you should...
i don't like explaining myself but i do get nervous everytime you get mad at me...even when i know i've done nothing wrong .... i'm feeling kinda sick of this feeling...
maybe this holiday,it would be a trial for both of us...to see how strong our relationship is....i pray for the best to happen...



Written at 4:12 AM on 0 comment(s)

got something interesting of Kenji , szien's friend blog...

►LEO - THE SEX MANIAC (7/23-8/22) Very talkative. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, Fun and SEXY. Have own unique appeal. Irresistible. Most caring person you'll ever meet! however not the kind of person you wanna mess with...they will kick your ***... u might end up crying...

►VIRGO - THE BEST SEXUAL PARTNER (8/23-9/22) Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. EXTREMELY SEXY. Predict future. Loves being in long relationships. Has lots of friends. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Also not a fighter, but if they have to, they will also knock the lights out of you if it comes down to it.Cool. Loves to own Geminis' in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart..

►SCORPIO - THE VIRGIN (10/23-11/21) Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person.

►AQUARIUS - THE ONE U CAN'T TOUCH (1/20-2/18) Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to Have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Attractive. Loud. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found.
►TAURUS - THE BAD BOY OR GIRL (4/20-5/20) Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great at telling Stories. Best kisser. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out
if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to.

►CANCER - HARD TO CATCH THEIR HEART (6/22-7/22) Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being In long- term relationships, if you can actually get them to stick around. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Normally not a Fighter, but will if neccessary. Someone loves them right now, they jut dont know it.

►LIBRA - THE PIMP (9/23-10/22) Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Fun to be around. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good Sense of Humor. Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet.

►PISCES - THE SEX ADDICT (2/19-3/20) EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Energetic. Predict future. BEST kisser. Always get what they want. Very Attractive. Easy going. RARE Find. GOOD when found. Loves being in long relationship. Talkative. Romantic. Caring. NOT one to mess with.

►ARIES - THE PLAYER (3/21-4/19) Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in bed...(hahaha)Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE.

►CAPRICORN - THE SEXY ONE (12/22-1/19) Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always Wants the last word.Rare to find. Caring. Smart. Sweet. Loud. Loyal. Beautiful. Goofy. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please.Loves to smile.Beautiful laugh.Patient.Amazing in the you know where..!!! Bit of naughty.The one and only.Sincere..very cheeky.

►GEMINI--HARD TO LOVE (5/21-6/21) Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser. EXTREMELY adorable. Good personalities.
Loves relationships. Addictive. Loud



Happy Deepavali everyone
Written at 9:37 PM on Monday, October 27, 2008 0 comment(s)

today is a very special day for some as today is Deepavali ... though i'm not one who took part in this celebration,i would like to take this opportunity to wish all my Indian friends a "Happy Deepavali"... and thanks to Mogenis for inviting me to her house but too bad i'm not back in BM...

woke up at 5 something today...my time has been upside down these past few weeks....i sleep during the day and wake up by morning...even though i do spend time reading my books but somehow,i forget everything and when i say everything i seriously mean everything....

Agogo asked me today when he saw me "why am i sad?"....i didn't know i was looking sad but i do feel sad inside...it's eating me up bit by bit but i keep telling myself,it's ok...i'm going to be back home soon...everything will be better soon...

someone seems mad at me for leaving him here...and i do feel guilty for leaving him here as well...how will it be for two whole months?

i was really mad at him when he told me the other day to spend more time with my friends... and to go mend the broken friendship...i feel really mad because i don't live my life this way and i seriously hate to have people telling me what to do when they don't really know me that well....



it's a SUNDAY
Written at 8:52 PM on Sunday, October 26, 2008 0 comment(s)

today is Sunday and guess what?i went to church today...willingly...haha!today's sermon was kinda boring...probably because i haven't slept for the whole night and to be honest,i was yawning through half of the sermon..*shy* anyways, i got something from someone i met today and to be honest,i've forgotten his name....but thanks a bunch for the band...

gonna upload the photos i took at church soon....

gotta go now...toodles...



bored of life
Written at 7:51 PM on Saturday, October 25, 2008 0 comment(s)

life has been really harsh recently and so many things have been going through my head...i can't concentrate and time is really running out....just wanna get through everything and let better time comes....studies are fun at time but it could get really stressful as well...friends could bring you fun but sometimes,their just shitty and bitchy....



last night
Written at 11:10 PM on Friday, October 24, 2008 0 comment(s)

i don't want anymore......

my view after all that...



will the time slow down?
Written at 1:01 AM on Wednesday, October 22, 2008 0 comment(s)

time seems to be running really fast this few days...all i've been doing is watch as time goes by...as day turned to night ans vice versa...so many things have been bothering me and i'm really not happy bout it....i wanna scream my lungs out and i wanna stab myself....i'm really looking forward towards the holiday but i don't wanna leave everyone behind....

the finals are coming to the last bend and it don't seem to look that far away...it feels like time is always running out....and after the finals,i have to start working..how stressful is that....man...i'm finally feeling old...finally feeling that time is not enough and time to finally realise that i shouldn't slack around anymore....



bottled up
Written at 4:00 PM on Thursday, October 16, 2008 0 comment(s)

so many things happened recently and so many things are on my mind but who can i tell all my problems and worries to?everyone is busy with their studies and assignments...i don't wanna burden anyone will any of my complaints and whining...

i'm beginning to be really calculative and i do not like the way this is headed...i act kinda childish at time and even the slightest thing could get me angry...that's why i'm trying not to be near people i care about so that i don't explode and hurt anyone...i'm beginning to lose my focus and what's really important to me and i'm drifting away...who could i ask for help from?

P/S:everyone has their own problems and fears...
hold back your tears and learn to stand on your own two feet and be strong...



back from dinner
Written at 9:24 PM on Saturday, October 11, 2008 0 comment(s)

just came back from dinner and i know i should start studying now otherwise i'll be sleepy and tired later on....hmphh....i've been procrastinating so much lately and it's eating up my soul....i don't wanna have to repeat the whole year or even another semester....i'll be so tired of it...and i don't wanna be burning my parents money too....

i don't wanna be another burden to my family...i'm sorry for being so busy and letting my priorities out of sight this few days...i'll try my best to keep up with it and i know i've been acting kinda childish these few days...but somehow,something inside me snapped and i seem to be so calculative nowadays...



The Real Deal
Written at 4:33 PM on 0 comment(s)

We are always searching in life

For that special thing

That thing that makes us fly without wings

When I close my eyes, every single night

All I see is that beautiful sight

That thing I want to touch and hold

That thing better than silver and gold

This thing shares my hopes and dreams

And helps me understand how love should be

It will stand by my side

And will dry my tears when I cry

It will be my best friend

Who will be there till the end

There's nothing in this world

I'd rather feel

Than to be in love with the real deal



good morning people
Written at 1:10 PM on 0 comment(s)

hey!how's everyone this fine morning?exam is up in two more weeks and i'm still procastinating here...i really wanna study but there's always excuses not to..anyways,shan't hang around the net for long as i don't wanna give myself excuses anymore....the weather seems hot around here today...probably cause it's in the afternoon....i really wanna pass all the papers...



Written at 10:44 PM on Friday, October 10, 2008 0 comment(s)

sick of everything that has been going on around here..so sick and tired of all the lies and cheats and by being friends,there should be no need for hiding around...how is it all going to end?i don wanna see it all go down but i know when the trouble comes,it's hard to go back to the way it was before...



hard disk
Written at 1:55 PM on Thursday, October 9, 2008 0 comment(s)

my hard disk has gone hay wire...shit...gonna bring it to be fixed later on...no more movies...no more songs...shit...i wanna go fix it now....it's been so stressful for the past few days....finals,events and so much more problems...i'm so sick of it.....



Written at 11:07 PM on Monday, October 6, 2008 0 comment(s)

what does the 9 letter word really mean?today,sent a friend off and kinda sort of miss him....though i don really know him all that well but all in all,seeing him go really made me feel kinda sad....one by one,all of them seems to be leaving me and i know i will be leaving soon too but i really don't feel like it because i've been through so much here and i know i'm gonna miss so many things here...and most of all,my family and friends here....but it's a dream i must pursue...it's known as sacrifices in life...anyways,finals is just around the corner and i should slack no more so off to my books now....toodles...



i shall mourn no more
Written at 10:31 AM on Wednesday, October 1, 2008 0 comment(s)

i pierce my ears a number of time ever since i was 15...every fucking hole represents a person dear to me which i mourn for when they die...either because of old age,accident or any misfortunate happenings...but i've decided to mourn no more because it really hurts thinking about them...wishing they were still here and wondering how much better i could have been having them around....

i've gotta move on and leave all these behind...i'm sick of people dying and leaving me behind....i don wanna feel this lonely and empty anymore....



Written at 8:09 AM on 0 comment(s)

today shoould have been a great day because i was expecting my parents but something happened this morning and i totally don't know what happened...i woke up to the sound of people shouting and yelling...and i got shooed out of the house and i totally don't get what happened and everything is in the dark now....

i just wanna know what happened and i just wanna share your burden and sadness....i felt guilty about beginning the fight in the first place and i know you've given it a lot...that's why i told you last night...i can't lose you....i don't wanna lose you....