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She was Once
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weird dream,weird thought
Written at 6:41 PM on Saturday, October 20, 2007 0 comment(s)

just now when i had my afternoon nap,i had a weird dream..i dreamt that my friends had turn on me..it felt so real....sometimes,my dreams do come true...i've been in this situation before..once..in real life....a friend or "friend",well,she used my phone to send dirty messages to my then current boyf's best friend phone and she didn't wanted to admit when questioned and finally,my friends decide to trust her...my boyf also decided to trust her thus we broke up and my friends boycotted me....well,at that time,i was in secondary school and to me,my friends always come first..after that time,i totally changed,i was no longer trusting....and my family definitely comes first now....sometimes,when someone ask me,how could i put my family first?u know,when i was younger,i was damn rebellious and i silently think that my family had even given up hope on me....thus,i trusted my friends..and when i found out that there are no loyal friends and your friends might turn on you at any time,i decided to stay away from people...during that time was the time when i fake it the most,i had learned what those ungrateful bitches could do and how they could hurt people and slowly,i learned to be stronger then them....that time,i was a total B-I-T-C-H...i could in front of you,laugh like nothing is wrong and at the back of you,screw you till you had no idea what hit you....well,this period did not last long...as i grew out of it pretty quickly but till this day,i knew how to defend myself and not let anyone else hurt me that deep...that's why,i feel sad whenever one would say "i hate my family" or "my friends will always come first"...maybe your friends might have been different from mine and your family different from mine....but no matter what,one gotta know that a person's mind could be easily poisoned....i've been through that part of life where nothing is beautiful...that's why,whenever i hear rumours bout any of my friends,i would learn both side of the stories and i try my best to hear it with no judgement and i would not take sides as i know both of them are just different and one of them might be wrong but i guess they just need time to learn.....well,today i just wanna tell those backstabbing ungrateful bitches that,i've been there for you at times when she couldn't be there for you and i've helped you through thick and thin....at that time,i think the most disappointed i felt was with a close friend i had at that time....she totally turn on me and stood at that girl's side...she didn't even gave me a chance to explain...but finally,one day,she saw how the girl could be such a B-I-T-C-H and finally,she decided to trust me..but by then,i had already change...though,i'm cool with her now d..in fact,she's one of my friends who i still visit when i get back home....but,i always tell her that she's like a "lalang",for example,if V told her that i had a crush on someone she like,she wouldn't even ask me and she would hate me without telling me the reason.....well,i'm use to her now d...that's just who she is...

O ya..there's another thing i wanna blog about...i know it's a weird question but i wanna know if any of you have had thought bout how are you gonna die?i mean not like,in an accident or disease or old age..but like would you like to be cremated or buried or whatever?is it weird to be thinking bout what would you do to your physical body after you die? *haiz...i'm just so weird*


lalang=wild grass