50 Universal Truths About Men
by Bob Grant, L.P.C.
1. Why should I remind you that "I love you?" I already told you once.
2. I'll do anything for sex; even commit to you for life.
3. I hate arguing with you. I'd much rather find a compromise.
4. I love long hair. Sorry, but I do.
5. When you speak softly, I can't help but listen.
6. I need to be told "no" sometimes. Not a lot, but every now and again reminds me that you are expensive.
7. Please don't ask me how you look unless you're willing to trust my answer.
8. My eyes notice other women a lot more when you are upset with me.
9. When you're happy with me I can't help but want to please you.
10. If I don't feel I can make you happy, it makes me feel less than a man.
11. I expect you to be ready when I pick you up.
12. Cigarettes make any woman look cheap and easy.
13. I'm scared if I let a woman inside my heart, she'll take advantage of me.
14. If you can't stand up to me when I'm a brat, you're too weak for me to open up to when I'm upset.
15. Sitting quietly next to me after you've made me a meal is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free ticket. You'll be surprised how quickly I can forgive.
16. You did something hurtful. If I never bring it up, I'm considering leaving you.
17. I don't read minds. Remember, I'm not a girl.
18. You may know fashion, but I wish you'd dress to please me, not other women.
19. If I'm losing my hair, it's not funny. Would you like me to joke about your weight?
20. When I talk to you about golf and you act bored, it would be nice for you to remember all the times I listened to you talk about what is important to you.
21. The woman I love is easy to please. She appreciates the effort I put into making her happy, even if I get the details wrong.
22. You look hot in a dress.
23. I hate being told what to do when I don't ask for help. It makes me feel you're my mother.
24. If you sleep over, I might eventually marry you, but I'm less motivated.
25. During sex my ears are as sensitive to your words as your skin is to my touch.
26. I need some type of signal or cue to walk across the room and approach you. What if you're married!?
27. It makes me feel like you trust me when you ask for my advice.
28. It feels competitive when you insist on being in charge.
29. Being respected is more important to me that being loved.
30. I want every guy to envy me when we arrive as a couple. Please don't let yourself go.
31. When I'm upset I am very tone sensitive. How you say it is more important that what you say..
32. I hate it when you minimize/ignore my compliments. It makes me what to stop giving them.
33. I'm more insecure than you think. Why do you think I need your respect so much?
34. I don't always know how I feel. That's why I don't tell you.
35. I don't need you to do things for me. What I crave is being able to please you.
36. If I do one thing and say something contradictory - Go with my actions, that will always tell you what's in my heart.
37. I find myself wanting to please you when you simply smile at me without asking for something. (Like a favor).
38. I really don't want to hear about any of your ex-boyfriends, regardless of the point.
39. If I don't share what I'm thinking it's because I don't think you will listen without interrupting.
40. I don't like to argue and I don't like to guess what's wrong. Just tell me so I can fix it.
41. I love it when you put your hair in a pony tail. Yes, it's a Freudian thing.
42. Don't ask me, "Are you going to wear that?" when I'm already dressed.
43. A gentleman should always be respected by his lady in public, even if she is disagreeing with him.
44. If you don't believe you're pretty, you won't believe me when I tell you, no matter how many times I say it.
45. It isn't how much you weigh; it's that your body is proportionate which is so attractive.
46. Sometimes I have weird and strange thoughts. I don't take them seriously and I don't want to share them with you (or anyone).
47. Sometimes you really don't want to know what I'm thinking. See above.
48. If you cheat on me, it is nearly impossible for me to get over it.
49. I don't remember everything about our relationship and that doesn't mean I don't love you.
50. I need some time to myself to calm down when I'm upset so that I don't say something I will regret.